- teacher: you're taking too long to complete the classwork
- me: it does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop
- News in Britain: stamps have gone up 14 pence
- News in America: cannibal eats man's face
- Britain: wat.
- News in America: man throws intestines at police
plot twist there was no such thing as healthy food and we were all fat
wait a minute..
